Chapter 15. There’s No Job Like the Blow Job

“Easter?”

“Yes, Mother Rebecca.”

“Can you peep into Evgeny’s mind?”

“No. I can’t.”

“Can Saturn?”

He says no, then Rebecca turns to me. No dear sis, I can’t. Evgeny has the same access as I do but there’s an ocean of orgasms between us. And I’m sitting at the bottom of it.

“This means that Russia has got the upper hand over the world. Thank you, Saturn.”

“I’ll ignore your sarcasm, Mother Rebecca, before invalidating your fears.”

“Go on, go on…”

“Evgeny has been given access to the entire human history, well, to the history of this planet and even the universe. He knows the events and can put them on display in markets, on the roofs, online, as he pleases to.”

“But?”

“But he’s a hermit and he loves it. Let’s put this in Greek: he is agoraphobic.”

“And?”

“And I am not. I don’t give a damn about walking naked through the Red Square, at noon. Did I tell you how I’ve hacked the servers of…”

“Enough said! …Alain?… écoute!… oui, oui, bien sur… L’entente Cordiale est en effet!… si, si… maintenant… Informe-la!, certainement. Bisous…”

“Easter?”

“Yes, Mother Rebecca.”

“Remember what I’ve taught you about charming men?”

“Always. Lovely teaching.”

“Can you promise me that you’ll always be a virgin down there?”

“I promise you, for the eighty-seventh time! I know that losing my virginity will lessen my telepathy crafts. It’s too high a price to pay, Mother Rebecca.”

“And you do know, Easter dear, that it does not matter what you put in your mouth.”

“Yes, I know. I have already fellated all the men of the Foreign Legion…”

“Including my man! Alain is now an (even more) open book to me, and to you.”

“As they reach orgasm, milliseconds before ejaculation, their minds sink to nirvana. As I taste their seed, registering their inner code, they belong to me. I own them. And I like sharing with you, Mother Rebecca.”

“Here’s the new list, my dear. Beam up, visit them by day or night, blow them and bring me the news, Easter.”

“Yes, Mother Rebecca.”

“Why don’t I have access to the list, my dear ones?” Say I in mild voice.

“Because your mind is the open book that it is. Heck, mom, sharing these secrets with you begs the question: what if a hostile part comes near you to read from your mind, what then?”

“I’ll wait ten minutes…”

Feeling left out, I tap my feet on the granite, creating little tremors.

“Don’t bother waiting, Astarte.”

Oh, hello Beatrice. Why not?

“This kind of data must stay out of your reach, for ever. It is my call, not Rebecca’s or Easter’s. Just forget about it, will you?”

Damn secrecy.

“Damn harlotry, dear.”

I was being myself, why damn me?

“Good point. I don’t wish to damn you, or to judge you, because you already did. Your choice was honesty at all costs. Well, barring you access to secrecy is one of the costs. Do you comprehend?”

I do, I do, fuck me.

“Beg a pardon?”

Never mind.